Alright, here is the long-awaited comprehensive list of mixed metaphors that I have either found online, seen on T.V., or heard first-hand in meetings. These drive me crazy, and I decided to start documenting them and now it's just a silly hobby. Maybe some of these will make you chuckle...
...and, for the cherry on top
...flying off to greener pastures
...her last day as an eagle
...when we cross that path
...whilst I polish these puppies up . . .
[as if] it would somehow bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.
99 times out of ten, that's what you'll get.
A heart as big as gold
A leopard can't change his stripes. - Al Gore
A loose tongue spoils the broth.
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.
A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.
Adam wasn't always the brightest tool.
An automatic process failed. I'm going to have to kick it off by hand.
As proud as pea soup
Beyond the question of a doubt - Steve Meyer
Biting the hand that rocks the cradle
Brilliant sunshine rained down on Fort Collins. - Rush Limbaugh
But one has to tidy up the loose ends. - Agatha Christie
Button your seat belts. - Rush Limbaugh
Can't you read the handwriting in the wind?
Change is now baked into the fabric of EDS.
changes that will ignite our engines of growth
Danny can squeeze money out of a turnip.
David's come out of this one looking like a rose. - Steve Meyer
Dirty laundry is coming home to roost. - Ray Romano
Do you follow where I'm coming from?
Does that play into the equation?
Don't burn your bridges till you come to them.
Don't eat with your mouth full!
Don't let the grass grow under a rolling stone.
Don't take any wooden Indians.
Drill that message home.
Drop down gorgeous
Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.
Everything got real dark, like snow.
Everywhere you turn around
Fewer and fewer in between
Fiddling with his guitar - Jimmy Webb, refering to Glen Campbell
Fly behind the scenes (heard in a meeting)
Fodder for the mill
Frankly, we don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon. - Dan Rather
From now on, I’m watching everything you do with a fine-tuned comb.
From the bottom on down
Get in the boat or swim or get out.
Get more teeth behind this (heard in a presentation)
Get the kinks rolling
Go ahead. Spew it off your chest.
Great sound & production that's crisp like a crunchy apple.
Have a nice day job.
Haven't we beat that with a dead stick?
He came out of it smelling like a bandit.
He can cry on a dime.
He clams up tighter than a drum. - Alex, in "Walker, Texas Ranger"
He kind of liked Alison, but Heather didn't really flip his whistle.
He reads like a fish.
He received a decease and desist order.
He took to it like a fish out of water.
He wanted to get out from under his father's coat strings.
He was watching me like I was a hawk.
He’s a little green behind the ears.
He’s a wolf in cheap clothing.
He’s burning the midnight oil from both ends.
He’s like a duck out of water.
He’s not the one with his ass in a noose.
Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel -- a mecca for tourists.
He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.
He's cooking his goose deeper and deeper.
He's not the sharpest marble in the drawer.
He's one brick short of the whole nine yards.
He's really low dog on the totem pole.
He's the meanest man on the face of the universe.
Hold the Farm!
How would I feel if I were sitting in your shoes?
I can read him like an open can of worms. - unnamed baseball player
I can read him like the back of my book.
I could see you itching at the bit.
I didn't have two minutes to rub together.
I don’t think they want to bite off that bullet.
I don't want that monkey around my neck.
I dozed in and off.
I feel like a bridegroom waiting at the altar for a blind date.
I feel the comparison paints Chicago in a bad light.
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.
I guess the foot's on the other hand now!
I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.
I have been torn betwixt and between the devil and the deep blue sea.
I hope he gets his curve ball straightened out.
I knew enough to realize that the alligators were in the swamp and that it was time to circle the wagons. - Rush Limbaugh
I left the door wide open, and you didn't take the bait.
I shot the wind out of his saddle.
I should move to the other side of the building, so I can see the sunset come up every morning.
I thought it might be a good idea for you to check base with him.
I want to be sure we don't build ourselves a bag of worms.
I wanted to come out of the chute on the right foot.
I will miss seeing him around the shoehorn.
I wish they'd hurry up and get their act in gear.
I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole.
I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.
I’ll get it by hook or ladder.
I’m gonna dig in my feet on this one.
I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.
If he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town. - Dan Rather
If the child was shoplifting, that's one thing, but if her parents were teaching her to steal, that's a whole new ballpark. - Debra Bentley
If they do that, they might as well take the open door policy and throw it right out the window!
If you don't wear your seat belt, you're just a missile waiting to happen.
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet. - British foreign minister Ernet Bevin
Ignorance is golden.
I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.
I'm bone empty.
I'm getting up on my feedbox here.
I'm going to go ahead and mow and get it out of the over with.
I'm no Monday morning shortstop.
I'm not trying to poke holes at anybody.
I'm so busy, I don't know whether I'm coming or not.
I'm sweating like a bullet.
I'm sweating like a stuck pig.
I'm tired of being a pawn in your lousy game of checkers!
In about six months I'll be knocking on your shoulder.
Is that going to throw a wrinkle?
Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?
Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?
It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.
It dawned across my head.
It isn't rocket surgery!
It kind of defeats the whole point.
It looks like the cows have come home to roost.
It sent goosebumps up my spine.
It sounds good on paper.
It sticks out like a sore throat.
It was time to get my act in gear.
It will be music to your wallet.
It will have a special time on our plate.
It’s all moth-eared.
It’s as easy as falling off a piece of cake.
It’s like looking for a needle in a hayride.
It’s like pulling the teeth from a hen.
It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.
It’s time to step up to the plate and lay your cards on the table.
It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!
It's a big nut to swallow.
It's a Hallmark moment!
It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.
It's as plain as the egg on your face.
It's gonna snowball through the whole fireworks.
It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice. - Norah O'Donnell on The Chris Matthews Show
It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.
It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.
It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.
It's like pulling hen's teeth.
It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.
I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door. - Cher
I've got an ace up my nose.
Just then, the fickle finger of fate reared its ugly head.
Just to throw some evidence on the fire...
Keep your nose up!
Kicking off the hockey season - sportscaster
Kill two birds with one egg
Let's clear up a loose end. - Rush Limbaugh
Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.
Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.
Life is beautiful, then you die.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of justice for all - Johnny Cochran
Listen! You smell something?
Living from hand to mouth like the birds of the air
Long road to hoe
Loose lips sink like a rock.
Make like a tree and head out.
Moss never grows on a fish out of water.
My mind is an open slate.
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring.
No use beating him over the head with a dead horse.
Not locked in stone (really?)
Not without a grain of sugar
Nothing out of the unusual
Now I'm going to tell you something that'll really throw a kink in the wrench.
Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.
Nuke The Unborn Gay Whales - bumper sticker
Oh yeah, it’s like watching wallpaper dry.
One hundred degrees better
Our methodology isn't cast in stone.
Our organization really frowns down on that.
People are dying like hotcakes.
Players' names should be entered in numeric order.
Put that in your hat and smoke it.
Raining like a sieve
Right between the nose
Right there on the tip of my brain
Safe framework (why?)
She flew off the deep end.
She has bigger dogs to fry.
She may want to tackle that battle.
She’s suffering from a detached rectum.
She's not the toughest cookie on the block.
Silence is bliss.
Smoking like a sieve
Someone's going to hang from the yardstick for this.
Sometimes they bite the farm.
Spare the rod; spoil the broth.
Start at the 40,000-foot level, then drill down. - various IT managers
Step up to the plate and pick up the gauntlet
Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron
Surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]
Tackle that hurdle
Take a flying hike.
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.
Take time to stop and smell the tunnel at the end of the rainbow.
That doesn't mean it's written in gold.
That fish won’t hunt.
That put a monkey in the wrench.
That really hacks me to a crisp.
That was a dialog we started down.
That will open up a whole new can of issues.
That will round out the triangle.
That's grabbing the bull by the horns of a dilemma.
That's the one that really swayed me over.
That's using your head for something besides a footstool.
The ball stops in Dayton.
The beer flowed like wine.
The bottom line boils down to . . .
The deputy was willing to cut him a break.
The early bird gathers no moss.
The fan is gonna hit the roof.
The folks in St. Louis burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.
The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation. Tonight's speaker is one who has taken hold of the baton.
The House Of Seven Ushers
The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.
The Maxeys' house deal fell through, so they're back to Ground Zero.
The rain is coming down like gangbusters!
The rain was coming down in droves!
The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.
The squeaky wheel wins.
There are things that will really sink home with you.
There wasn't a dry tear in the place.
There’s no grass burning under THIS project.
There's a silver lining in all that red ink. - NBC5 news anchor Mike Snyder
These hemorrhoids are a real pain in the neck.
These two guys are cut out of the same mold.
They counted the votes until the cows had literally gone to sleep. - Dan Rather
They cut into a water main, and it was gushing like a mountain. - Jeannette Scott
They gave him a raw shake. - John_Galvin
They need to wake up and smell the music. - John_Galvin
They paired off, one by one. - John Scott
They try to balance a fine line. - John_Casey
They’re diabolically opposed.
They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.
They're a legend before their time.
Things are different when you have fifteen people on your plate.
This is a race where you can turn a corner, and then there'll be another team right there breathing down your throat. - Wil on "The Amazing Race"
This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.
This isn't set in stone. (confusing setting in concrete with carving in stone)
This snowball is coming down the mountain with a full head of steam.
To get the buy-off of the business partner - a techie wanting buy-in and sign-off simultaneously
To the max degree - Rush Limbaugh
Up a tree without a paddle
We all act as one heartbeat.
We can still hang our heads high. - member of U.S. men's 4x100 Olympic team
We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.
We drove a stake in the stand.
We have taken care of all of the silver bullets.
We have to get all our ducks on the same page.
We just keep getting the tail end of the stick.
We need to get a vaccuum cleaner and hose him down.
We need to have photographic ears.
We need to look at it before the other eyes set foot on it.
We need to sit down and walk through some things.
We raised it to new depths.
We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.
We want to brand the Renascence name to the eyeballs in the chairs.
We’re between a hard and a rock place.
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
We'll rewind the calendar.
We're cooking on all four cylinders.
We're going to get locked into a corner.
We're still getting our feet wet on getting rolling here.
What a dirty trap!
When you boil it down to its nuts and bolts
When you put your best foot forward, it rubs off on someone.
While we are ingesting the author's valuable insights, we may also be swallowing his blind spots.
Why don't you wear that turtle-hair sweater or that herring-tooth jacket?
Windy as a hornet
Without fear of hesitation
You are wise behind your ears.
You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!
You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.
You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.
You can take that to the bank and smoke it.
You can’t change the spots on an old dog.
You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.
You could have blown me over with a feather.
You could have knocked me over with a fender.
You could take that guy with a grain a salt.
You have to dance to a different drum.
You hit the nail on the dot.
You must have ears like an eagle. - Sam Gerard in "The Fugitive"
You need more sugar to get your brain circulating.
You were at your wit's nerve.
Your car plays a link in your normal daily routine.
You're fighting upstream.
You're not pointing blame?
